I Have a Dream

This is my first attempt at a blog, you have been warned. I promise to be as honest and entertaining as I can so here it goes.

It is hard to follow up Kat's great intro so rather than concentrate on the pre-cleanse fears (which I concur with Kat on every account), I am going to write about my pre-cleanse "hopes and dreams." However, I would like to add one more fear to the list:

#4 being hungry all the time
-I have a huge appetite and can hardly satiate it now with solid foods so I'm not sure what this liquid diet is going have in store for me. I fear confusing my husband with a veggie burger and sweet potato fries (he's a red head as you know so that is very funny so laugh). Or, I will see my students as hummus and pita chips (that was for you Nelson). I will be in my Tuesday morning staff meeting as see my coworkers as yummy empanadas (looking out for you Kat). If I bite anyone during these 10 days, I apologize now. I also apologize for my impending crankiness. It is inevitable. When I am hungry, I am mean.

Whew! Now that this is off my chest I can begin with my top three hopes and dreams...

#1 I want to cleanse my body as I transition to a vegan.
-Yup, I said that bad word, vegan. I am not looking forward to a long life of people asking me in their condescending tone "I'm just curious, why?" That is such a loaded question. When it comes to responding, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. I anticipate offending a lot of people. That wouldn't be most different from now anyway so who cares?! Anyway, I can rant on and on about veganism and why I believe in it but Kathy Freston can do a way better job so if you're interested I highly recommend "The Veganist." It's not your typical page turner but it will change your life - I mean it.

#2 I want to stop confusing emotions for hunger.
-We all do it. I'm bored, so I eat. I'm happy, so I eat. I'm sad, depressed, stressed, so I eat. Somewhere along the line (starting in my early childhood chubby days) I lost the ability to separate true hunger from other emotions. I need to hit the reset button and start again. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy food just as much as anyone and I don't want to lose that enjoyment. Who doesn't love a food orgasm once and again? Tasting and savoring our food is one of the most pleasurable experiences to be had. But, I need to learn to cope and fill my time with other activities rather than eating (perhaps blogging...?).

#3 I want to prove a point.
-Haha, told you so, in your face! First, I want to prove it to myself. I cave into fear and self-doubt almost daily. My first reaction to new things is always all the reasons why I shouldn't do it (thanks Mom). So, even if it may seem small, I want to prove it to myself that I am strong and capable. So there! I also want to rub it in my parents' faces since they are still leaving me discouraging emails and voicemails. After day 10, I am going to knock on my parents' door and shout "Boo!" when they open it. See, I'm not dead after all, my kidneys still function, my underwear is clean, and I haven't fainted, fallen down, hit my head, and knocked myself unconscoius. Wow, it must be a miracle!

Now I will end with a short ditty I wrote for this occasion. You might not know but I love Adam Sandler and one of my favorite movies (I know all the words and annoy people when they watch with me) is Billy Madison. If you don't know the song "Back to School," first take a look at this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJSrjW9Wc4A&feature=related. It's a bad video but you get the point.
Here is my version:
Oooh Master Cleanse, Master Cleanse,
To prove to my parents that I'm not a fool!
I've got my lemons and syrup, ignoring their "can'ts"
I hope I don't poop in my pants!

Okay, so that's it for now. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I hope it was honest and entertaining as promised above. Looking forward to reading and writing more posts!